1. It wasn't even the anesthesia part of the story line I thought was weak, I just thought the whole episode was disjointed giving a very last minute thrown together result. Almost like the writers got the "Britney OK," lined up all the songs they wanted to use, added in some dialogue, and hit record on the video camera. And I'm sorry, when exactly to Mr. Shu become so insecure? Cause I missed that evolution.
2. We all know Brit Brit is not a great actress, but she agrees to be in the freakin' episode and that's how you use her? I love Santana, but come on! How great would it have been if Brittany and Britney had performed "Me Against the Music." Un, awesome.
3. I know Heather Morris is an INCREDIBLE dancer, but she doesn't have Britney's umpf. Brit can perform the heck out of a paper bag. Heather can dance the heck out of a potato sack, but I just need some more attitude. And I think the girl is HILARIOUS (yes, I like all caps for emphasis) with her one liners, but they seemed to lose their zest when they become paragraphs. She's so funny because she's so simple, but when the thoughts become, well, full fledged thoughts, they lose the funny part of being so random. They become too thought out. (And though I did think the reveal of her last name was funny, could have used a little more build up.)
4. I love Britney. I would just like to preface this by saying that. But she's not exactly the best singer in the biz. But her music is supposed to sound gritty and synthesized and, well, overly produced. Lea Michele, bless her beautiful voice, just made it sound too pretty. Too much like a little girl playing dress up. Brit Brit made it scandalous. Normally, the Glee cast adds so much to a song, making it their own. But these versions of all the songs erased all of Brit's attitude, making it fluff. Annoying fluff.
5. THOUGH, I did love Mr. Shu's voice added to Toxic. A male voice was a nice touch. Of course, I was a little distracted by his ridiculous and completely out of character antics to be able to pay much attention.
6. Why did Kurt not get a solo? He was the Britney advocate and didn't even get to be in Stronger. He totally could have rocked it.
7. Which leads me to, why would you copy all of the other videos, yet have a perfectly good set up with Artie in the chair and not use the Stronger dance routine? It could have been AMAZING. Cheap.
8. Where was Oops? I could even write a great scene for that song. Just because you put on the space suit, doesn't mean the song was represented. And I'm Not a Girl? Um, Lea could have actually done something great with that. Sometimes? Even Boys. There are some great songs that could have organically been put in. It worked in the Madonna episode. Even Lady Gaga (I believe Poker Face was used well). But I just don't know what happened here.
9. On a positive note, I LOVE John Stamos as Carl. This I can work with. Keep him around! Especially with how annoying Shu was. Ugh! (Sue was great, though. Jane Lynch rocks my world just like she does everyone else's.)
10. And, finally, a Paramore song? Honestly? Everything has been all about this fantastic Britney episode that's coming up, and you end with a Paramore song? But the part that gets me the most...it was the only rendition of all of the songs that I actually liked and might download. That hurts.
Ok. I feel better. I don't go on TV rants much anymore, but COME ON! Britney was on Glee, and it was awful. Cringe-worthy. Done now.
XO-
EBG
