I Knew Them When...

Baby - Justin Bieber

Covered by Green River Ordinance

I used to interview these boys at KTCU when they were like 12. Wow, they've grown up. I love all their music, but everyone knows I'm a sucker for cheesy pop songs. Enjoy!

XO-
EBG

Secret Meeting

Secret Meeting - The National
Alligator

"I had a secret meeting in the basement of my brain."
I've been very thoughtful lately. And by that I don't me "thinking of others." I literally mean "full of thoughts." It hasn't been bad, or sad, or even confusing. Maybe it's because I'm so close to finishing Cloven and sending it out again that I spend most of my time in Graves Parish and Cesura these days. Do people know when they talk to me that I'm only half listening? The other half is in a fantasy world I created buried deep in my soul trying desperately to surface. After 2 1/2 years of really writing, and almost 5 years of creating this story, it feels so good for it to finally come together. I'm just afraid to leave it, I don't want to lose it again. I have to keep at least part of my focus there at all time because I don't know if I can find it again if it disappears...

But I'll be back to the world of the living (ha. if you've read it, you get it) soon. January 28. It's really not that far away.

XO-
EBG

Someday I will have a child exactly like this...

CMA Awards

I'm just going to say it...I don't really listen to country music. My T. Swifty obsession is pretty apparent in my day-to-day, but in general, country just doesn't usually fit my mood. But I decided that if I'm going to have a music blog, I need to include all types...at least all types I can stomach. So, I got home last night just in time for the CMA's to begin. I was going to write just a few gut reactions, but it turned into more of a play-by-play. I've never been a reviewer, so don't expect that from me. I like what I like, and what I didn't like...well, that's listed below as well. It's written in present tense because I wrote as I watched, so if you weren't watching or really paying attention you'll probably have no idea what I'm talking about. I'll try to post pictures when I can to help.

First off, I LOVE Carrie Underwood’s first outfit, especially her hot red shoes. I can’t understand most of what she’s saying, but something about “You were mean to me and since you were I’m writing this song.” That’s the one thing I’ve never really understood about country…they keep talking about writing songs instead of just singing them. It’s all “I love you so I wrote you this song” or in this case “I hate you so I wrote you this song.” Why not just write a love or a hate song? It’s like in Easy A (which I loved) but Emma Stone kept having to clarify “This is a John Hughes’ reference.” Just give us the reference, we’re smart, we can pick up the rest. But nonetheless, I think that Carrie Underwood is beautiful and charismatic, and I have been a fan of hers since American Idol…just don’t ask me what songs she sings.

Ok, so my first thought is: Where have I been? I didn’t realize country music stars were so freakin’ cute. I’m not sure how great these guys sound, but I would have made the switch a long time ago had I known this was the pool to choose from. Cutie-patooties. And there’s just something sweet, nice, Southern about a country musician. Of course there is something dirty, hot, and sexy about an indie rock musician…I’m going to have to find someone that combines the two. I have faith it’s possible.

Carrie and Brad Paisley have nice chemistry. I like this banter going back and forth and the spontaneously staged singing. It's nice that they're making fun of the world and not necessarily their fellow country artists. Except the "mix-up" between Lady Antebellum and Lady Gaga. I actually laughed out loud...it might have been scripted, but it was funny.

Lady Antebellum wins Single of the Year with “Need You Now”! And it’s a song that I know! And I already own! It’s like I’m a country music fan. Who knew? But what’s their story? 2 boys and a girl…anything I should know there? Not that I’m judging. I like them, they have big smiles, and sincere gratitude.

Um, did anyone else just notice Dawes on the Chevy commercial? First commercial break of the CMA's...at least PST.

Rascal Flatts, another country band that I actually know. But I’m bored. What are they even singing about? And I’m a fan, well, I like them. But they seem bored. They sound ok, but besides all the flashing lights in the background, it’s hard to tell they even care they’re there.

Hello, Kellie Pickler’s boobs and hair…and shiny gold dress. W-O-W.
Next: Miranda Lambert wins Song of the Year. I do not know the song she won for. And moving on...
So, I’ve heard Blake Shelton’s name before…but, hello, freakin’ adorable.
Before tonight I couldn’t have picked him out of a crowd or his song off of a mix tape, but if I’m going to turn the country direction, he has potential for making the cut.
He was fun, sounded great, and had the ladies screaming. Apparently, he’s engaged to Miranda Lambert, so to keep the ladies screaming like he did takes some mojo. I don’t know if I’m ready to go out and buy the album, but the single is definitely going to make its way into my iTunes…maybe even on a mix tape.

I came into this really wanting to like Miranda Lambert, soon to be Mrs. Shelton, but this live performance is not doing it for me. I do like the fact that she’s wearing the same outfit she had on when she won though. I have a feeling her album sounds better than this (award shows rarely sound great…unless you’re Florence + the Machine), but there’s no melody to her voice. It just sounds flat…not like a flat key…just no tune. But I do love the fact that country music has another star couple. There’s just something a lot more wholesome about them than say…Britney and Justin or Rihanna and Chris Brown.

GEORGE STRAIT! I love him from the days that I listened to country music more than not. Wow, he’s gotten old. I mean that in the nicest way possible. Ok, I’ve heard this song before, the one about “Moments taking your breath away.” I didn’t know it was George, and I’m kind of glad I didn’t. This is why I don’t listen to country very much, I can’t handle the blatant use of clichés. Especially ones that are so overused anyway. I totally agree with what the song is saying, but it’s been said before. And before that. And before that. It just feels very unoriginal. But who remembers Pure Country? “I Cross My Heart” now that was a nice spin on an old cliché. Plus I was like 12 when it came out, so that’s another thing.

New Artist of the Year: I don’t know who any of these people are. No, really. I don’t know who any of these people are. Oh! Except the Zac Brown Band because my friend Cait has been listening to them non-stop. Guess I’m adding them to the potential Music Review of 2010. I think a live performance is coming soon…I should probably hear a song before I judge. (There seem to be a lot of them on stage. Are they all in the band?)

And Zac Brown Band is up. Do they pass the test? I’m not sure what the test entails, but I’m digging this. Cait, you were right. Oh, and Alan Jackson. Another that I listened to back in the day. “Don’t be fallin’ in love as she’s walkin’ away…” I can get behind this. I still don’t know who the other New Artist contenders were, but from just this song, I’m not going to argue with the winner.

Kenny Chesney I have actually seen live. Oh, yes, I have been to a country concert. And it was a really good one at that! This song is making me a little teary eyed, especially after growing up in Texas. I feel like the videos playing in the background could have been any one of my guy friend’s lives in high school. Stars and Stripes? Is that what it’s called. It’s nice, not quite changing my life, but I’m enjoying the moment. (Ha. Just looked it up. It’s called Boys of Fall. Appropriate.)

YAY T. Swifty! I just love her…especially when she’s singing songs about Taylor Lautner (Back to December). I mean, I’m not saying she sounds the best…but I feel like she still feels every word she’s singing. And now, it’s snowing. I love this song because on an album full of her telling an array of boys (and a certain actress) exactly what she thinks of them and how they screwed her over, this song is her saying she was in the wrong. It’s the first song I can think of hers that says “I screwed up, and I don’t know how to fix it.” I think that’s just as hard to say as telling someone they broke her heart. I feel like she should be wailing a little bit though, she seems to be holding back. Sing it, T. Swifty. (I kind of wish she had sung Revenge. That song just makes me happy.)

PS. Did everyone notice the suprised "What?" at the end? Apparently it was her reaction to a standing ovation. I heart her.

Oh, wow there’s a ballerina theme happening now. I don’t know what’s happening, but this apparently is the number one song in country music…Sugarland’s Stuck Like Glue. She is super adorable, but I do not like this song. I really really want to, though. She’s got this deep “Wa-oh, wa-oh” thing going on that I’m kind of grooving to. There’s just a lot repeating. And I don’t really understand how the outfit correlates with the song…but you know, NSYNC did some WEIRD things when they used to perform on award shows. So, I’m just going to let that go.

Vocal Group of the Year goes to…oh, Little Big Town! I know them…well, not personally. My friend Heather just toured with them and thought the world of them. And, I really like The Band Perry, or at least “If I Die Young.” (Lady Antebellum actually won the award. I’m a supporter of this decision.)

Hahahahahaha: Modern Family: “That was a stop sign.” “I’ll stop twice on the way back.”

Keith Urban = Sexy. I totally get it, Nicole. But he’s singing again about “Putting you in a song.” You already put her in the dang song, do you really need to tell us? Are we really that dumb? That being said, this is a catchy tune, and my foot is tapping along with it. I know I’m contradicting myself, but I’m digging this. And he actually sounds really good live, unlike some of his counterparts.

Reba…she still looks fantastic! But I’m not so sure about singing from a boy’s POV. This song kind of makes me uncomfortable. It must just be that I’m hearing all of these songs for the first time, so I’m really listening to them…but is this weird to anyone else? Remember “Fancy”? There was a lot inappropriate with that song, too, but I fell in love with it before I ever knew what it meant. That must be the difference…

Carrie Underwood is so freakin’ beautiful. And her outfits/dresses are amazing. I really like the yellow one! Jason Aldean (had to look up the spelling). I think the volume on my TV just went down, I can’t really hear him. Um, is that Kelly Clarkson? I should make it very clear now that I’m not a big fan of hers (nothing to do with her personally, I’ve just never gotten into her voice), so this performance is probably not going to win me over. And her bright pink earpiece is a little distracting. But besides that she looks beautiful. And I hear she’s really nice, plus I have a lot of friends that are big fans. But no, I don’t really “Want To Stay.”

Oh, Little Big Town…a little T. Swifty a capella is maybe the best performance of the night! Album of the Year: Miranda Lambert…in a pretty white dress! A short, pretty white dress. And very visible boobs. I really like her, though. She’s fun and a little feisty. I will give her album a try and report back at a later date.

Wow. Kid Rock has not changed one bit. Maybe his clothing, but he is exactly the same. I actually saw him perform in a little club in Malibu for Pamela Anderson’s birthday back in the day when they were dating. I also saw him at a restaurant hanging out with Justin Timberlake once. I don’t think they were there specifically to hang out together, but they were chatty. “I Was Born Free.” Yes, we were…but I got nothing besides that about him. He’s a character, he amuses me. I think I used to own “Cowboy”…but I’ve been through a few iPods/computers since then. Actually, it was way before iPods. So, I might have never owned it. But I enjoyed it once upon a time. (Misty, keep ALL the facial hair. This is not a good look for Luke.)

Brad Paisley…you are super cute, but I just don’t get the whole concept of announcing what you’re singing about. These country music folks are very proud of where they come from. I like his voice, I like his simplistic charisma, and I’m a huge fan of Sexy Tractors (that was him, right? Or was that Kenny…? It was Kenny. I don’t know what else Brad sings), but maybe it’s because I don’t listen to it very often and can’t sing it, but I just can’t relate to being part of the country music family. There are no emotions in this song that I can draw from, and I feel a little left out. Oh, except now that he’s repeating famous lyrics of songs that I do hold close to my heart. Sorry, though, it’s not enough. But, you’re still pretty.

Vocal Duo of the Year goes to…Sugarland. Just not feeling them. But then again, I didn’t know Brooks & Dunn were still making music. Maybe the voters didn’t know, either. (But I do like Sugarland's personalities. I might not want to buy their album, but dinner would be fun!)

Hello, cuteness that is Lady Antebellum. “Hello World,” I think I’m a fan. It’s soft and controlled, yet strong. And I LOVE the lights on the stage. Finally, a song that I’m actually relating to. Even without a wife and children, I get this message…about coming home to “real life” and how “real life” can be so much better than our daydreams. I felt a little flutter from that performance.

Male Vocalist of the Year…Contenders are: oh, I’ve seen Dierks Bentley live, too! He was a great show! Ok, Blake and Miranda win my couple of the month award. And Blake Shelton is stealing my heart left and right. He wins for the night!

I am a HUGE fan of this song! (The Band Perry – If I Die Young) It was actually a song of the day not that long ago. And they sound really good. I like country, you don’t need all the spectacles…the simpler the performance, the better. I’m just not so sure about their hair. Wait! Where did they go…I wanted that whole song. Come back!!! And, now we’re back to blaring commercials, so, I'll just post it here:


Oh, good. I’m glad Carrie is performing again. I wanted her to have another chance. (What’s up with all the videos playing in the background? Is that normal for the CMA’s?) Her dress is gorgeous, Disney princess fairytale gorgeous, except I don’t think she can move in it. This is a nice song, “He Is Good” (or Mama’s Song for those country music fans). This is a very sweet performance, and I can relate it to my sister’s wedding a few weeks ago (See me finding an emotional connection?). I can understand country music…when they’re not singing about country music. I’m assuming that’s her husband in the video? Or maybe just an actor playing her husband, which is a little awkward, but I get it. Ok, this is a fun beat. Dierks Bentley “Up On the Ridge.” It’s a little playful, a little dirty, a little stalkerish sounding. I don’t know if it’s his voice or the song, though, but it’s not very pretty to listen to. I would say that I should download all of these songs and then compare the recording to the live music…but I just don’t see that happening. I’ll put it on Grooveshark tomorrow…not going to count anyone out just, yet.

(I’m a fan of Sissy Spacek. Just throwing that out there.)
Miranda's voice is winning me over a little singing Loretta Lynn (Her personality has already won me). This doesn’t build up her own album that much in my book, but at least as a country superstar, I get it a little more. Sheryl will always be “Strong Enough” to me, it’s hard for me to transfer her to country. But I’m going to get on this train anyway. They’re two talented women, and they sound really good right now. But Loretta just blew them out of the water. Why have someone else cover your song when you can still belt it yourself? And the outfit just makes it that much better. I want to hear her sing some more…guess that will be adding to Grooveshark tomorrow as well.

Female vocalist, that’s actually a really hard one. I can’t judge the winner, I just need to listen to Miranda’s album. The sound clips they’re playing right now have potential. And I absolutely love seeing people win awards with their idols standing right next to them. It’s inspiring and heartwarming. But, really, that dress?

I love when actors actually sing when they play musicians in movies. Gwyneth’s performance of Country Strong just convinced me to go see the movie that previously wasn’t on my list. Not sure if it’ll be good or not, but at least I know I’ll enjoy her. And, see, this song talks about being “Country Strong” without having to say “I’m a country singer and strong and here is a song about it.” I realize this was written for a movie, but just saying it can be done.


And final award, Entertainer of the Year: “If you see a turtle on a fencepost it had help getting up there.” I LOVE THAT! Ok, I’ll download this album. Brad Paisley, you are a stellar person. And this is a great acceptance speech, tears and all. He thanks the fans, his wife, and country radio. Nice!

I would like to end this by saying, I’m really impressed with the Nashville family. They all seem to get along, support each other, and genuinely believe in each other’s talents. In a world that is so torn apart and competitive, it’s really nice to witness this. Away from the Hollywood hoopla, it feels like this world just enjoys playing their music…together. It’s a nice change.

Fake Empire

Fake Empire - The National

Album: Boxer

Sometimes, when the weight of the world becomes too much to bear, I find myself slipping into a superficial state. It's a place where the only things that matter are the pumpkin spiced latte from Starbucks, the great pair of heels that I make my calves look incredible (but I can't walk in), and the unobtainable musician that may or may not have someone else in his eyeline. It's a place where a swoop of mascara and a dab of lipstick instantly make me prettier, and I can bat my eyelashes at a stranger trying to lure them into flirty eye contact if only for a wistful moment. This fake empire is a state of mind, where I block out heartache and sorrow and the struggles cascading down around me. I force questions out of my head instead filling my thoughts with cheesy pop lyrics, glasses of wine, and conversations about the difficult lives of the cast of 90210 and Gossip Girl.

But I can't live in this world forever. I don't want to live in this world forever...only to escape into it for a few fleeting moments when my heart can't take anymore of the real world I live in. It's a gentle reprieve, and I'm grateful for it.

Today the world lost an amazing man. My great uncle, I think is what he is, my uncle's uncle (but no blood relation) died this morning. We may have only been related through marriage, but he was more of a grandfather to me than one of my blood ones ever was. He was strong and kind and I don't know if I ever saw him without a bow tie around his neck. Every childhood memory I have of holidays, birthdays, even Sunday mornings at church, he is a part of. We grew really close after his first wife died when I was in elementary school, and I would sit next to him in the pew at church every week. I have a very small family, so each member is incredibly important and loved. And he's the first to go in a long time.

I know that all life eventually leads to death, and he had lived an amazingly good and long life. But it still gives that "what's the point" feeling. We live, we grow old (if we're lucky), and we die. It's a cycle that never ends, and sometimes it hurts so much, that I wish it would. Hurt is the wrong word. Pointless. Sometimes life simply feels pointless...and that leaves me feeling empty.

But most of all, I'm worried about my cousins. I only have two and growing up they were more like brothers than cousins. I talked to both of them tonight, and they seemed strong, but...lost. Lost in not knowing exactly what to feel. Big Mike was a man they looked up to tremendously, a man they loved with their whole hearts, and even though they've been preparing for months for today, it didn't help. My baby cousin, who's 25, and his fiance just got approved for a house today, a short time before he heard the news. Strange, it's almost like my post two weeks ago, about such extreme happiness and sadness mixed together that you don't know which is which. I think James had such a roller coaster of a day that he's been left suspended mid-air, not sure whether he's being taken to the top or about to be dropped to the bottom. Maybe both. And Trey, Trey I can't read very well anymore. We don't talk as much, and we've taken different directions with our lives, but I would call him the more sensitive of the two. We only spoke for a few minutes, but I didn't get the feeling the realization had sunk in quite, yet. And it might not until he gets home and the whole family is together.

And then there's my uncle. I can't get the picture out of my head of him holding his father's hand until he finally let go of life. But the vision is clouded by tears. I remember when my dad's mother died and trying to watch my dad for his reaction of what was going through his head. But he never really showed much emotion to me. I don't know if it's because he thinks he needs to be strong for the rest of the family or if it's easier to be emotional alone. If that's the truth, I think I get that from him.

It's a sad day. And I know the sad days only exist to make the good days brighter. But right now I just want to hide away for a little while...and when the sun rises tomorrow, start again.

XO-

EBG

The Chain

The Chain - Ingrid Michaelson

Album: Everybody (Live version on Be OK)

I don't know the last time an artist brought tears to my eyes. But this song did something to do me last night. It's not quite a Core Craver...it's a Soul Sweller. I just made that up. Normally, a song that makes my soul swell is because I understand it so well, I can put a face or emotion to it, and I just simply "get" the lyrics. This one is different because I don't really have anyone that fits inside the perimeter. I did at one time have a series of people, boys, men, that I could have felt this way about (and by series I mean like 4, not like a line around the block), but that time has passed. Some of them I never dreamed would ever disappear that far from my life, but time really does heal all. This song brought up old feelings I haven't felt in quite awhile, not necessarily for these certain boys, but the memory of what it was like once upon a time. It's been a long time since that memory has been as vivid as it was last night, and it made me realize how much I've missed it.

It's an interesting moment, a defining one, when you realize you are over someone. It's not the "I'm done with you" moment or the "I refuse to cry about you anymore" moment, either. It's weeks, months, sometimes years later that you realize the feelings that once meant everything to you are gone. Doesn't mean I don't care, about them...about him. It just means The Chain doesn't immediately come off if he were to reappear. It would be a beginning again, a beginning that I don't yearn for, that I don't dream about, that I don't even miss.

The Chain is ready for something new. Maybe that's a person, maybe it's an adventure, maybe it's a best selling book (it could happen). "Battle scarred, I'm working oh so hard, to get back to who I used to be" (That's A Fine Frenzy, not Ingrid, but I'm mixing now). The work has been done, I'm more me than I've been in years, and I feel as if I might take flight at any moment.

XOXO-

EBG

Imitosis

Imitosis - Andrew Bird
Album: Armchair Aphocrypha

First off, thank you, Misty for this song. I was looking for the right song for this mood and nothing was coming. I was handing out songs to other people left and right, but for me...I was coming up blank.

I'm going to expand on this later, but I'm about to go see Ingrid at the Troubadour, so I don't want to damper my mood...but basically, it's one of those songs that I feel has so much truth to it, and I'm determined to defy it. I don't post the entire lyrics that often, but this time it's needed. Dwell on them for awhile, and tomorrow I'll give you my thoughts...along with my Ingrid review.

he's keeping busy
yeah he's bleeding stones
with his machinations and his palindromes
it was anything but hear the voice
that says that we're all basically alone

poor Professor Pynchon had only good intentions
when he put his Bunsen burners all away
and turning to a playground in a Petri dish
where single cells would swing their fists
at anything that looks like easy prey
in this nature show that rages every day
it was then he heard his intuition say

we were all basically alone
and despite what all his studies had shown
that what's mistaken for closeness
is just a case of mitosis
and why do some show no mercy
while others are painfully shy
tell me doctor can you quantify
he just wants to know the reason why

why do they congregate in groups of four
scatter like a billion spores
and let the wind just carry them away
hows can kids be so mean
our famous doctor tried to glean
as he went home at the end of the day
in this nature show that rages every day
it was then he heard his intuition say

we were all basically alone
despite what all his studies had shown
that what's mistaken for closeness
is just a case of mitosis
sure fatal doses of malcontent through osmosis
and why do some show no mercy
while others are painfully shy
tell me doctor, can you quantify?
the reason why


XOXO-
EBG