Album - Happenstance
I met a friend at the mall today for lunch. As we sat talking, we were approached by a woman who told us there was quite a bit of energy surrounding us. Especially me. Now, this woman was a little awkward, yet I was intrigued. She went on to tell me that it was very positive energy, but there was also some jealousy floating around. Not from me, but someone else directed to me. (That in itself made me laugh. I don't quite have the envious life right now.)
Then she said that someone from my past was about to resurface, and it was someone who had hurt me and changed the way that I love. She also said that there is someone in my life now who wants to be with me but is immature and afraid of commitment. Great.
Of course, she didn't give me any names, but she did give me her card and told me she would do a full reading at her office down the street for $75. Or I could have the reading at the mall for $30 or 40. I had to get back to work. It's not that I don't believe in psychics, it's just that 1. I don't want to know the future and 2. I believe the future is subjective. (For you Twilight readers, it's a little in line with how Alice sees the future. You might be able to predict it if everything stays on its current course, but there are too many elements that can change, and once one of those alters its course, everything else does, too.)
But, I am curious. Who are these mystery people? Mr. Resurfacing could really only be 1 of 3 people. Actually, really only 1 of 2. We've all had our hearts broken, but there have only been 2 that have "changed the way that I love." There were only 2 that I trusted to never hurt me, and they did. The others, I always had a guard up, and though my heart broke when our relationships ended, I never really had a solid belief in them. But these 2, I never thought could do the damage they did. Some might be surprised that number 3 didn't really make the cut. But number 3 was never really a great love. I just desperately wanted him to be.
When I moved to Los Angeles, I listened to Ms. Yamagata over and over and over again. This was my parting song. This is my letting go song. The psychic didn't say what I should do when Mr. Resurfacing resurfaces, but I'm hoping it just brings peace. That I can wish the best for him, and maybe have a chance with Mr. Immature and Afraid of Commitment. Now that's someone that I have no idea who to guess. Who knew I had so many prospects?
There's been so much letting go and searching for peace happening within me lately that I find myself completely exhausted by the end of each day. It's almost like I am making room inside for someone new to be a part of my life, like I'm becoming whole so that I can give a piece of myself away.
"So, I'll head out alone and hope for the best.
We can pat ourselves on the back and say that we tried.
And if one of us makes it big, we can spill our regrets
And talk about how the love never dies.
But you and I, know the reason why
I'm gone and you're still there.
I'm gone and you're still there.
I'm gone and you're still there."
And my wish to Mr. Resurfacing, the wish that it took me a long time to be able to say and to mean: "I wish you well, and hope you find whatever you're looking for."
XO-
EBG
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